Rohatsu 2007

I had a very quiet Rohatsu this year. No long sesshin, no intense sitting. I practiced at home, at sangha, and at school with the mindfulness practice group I started -- but, no special finals week practice sessions this semester. Next semester during finals week we will have special sessions. In any case, Rohatsu was a good week, mindful, full of awareness of practice, of my at times attachment to suffering. My friend Werner from Dharma Seeds reminded me of two quite helpful lines: "Suffering is wanting things to be different," and "It is so painful to be right." Both are great lines. It is painful to be right (especially in arguments with my wife. The pain and suffering comes from recognition of how I add to my suffering, from guilt, from not being mindful, from having to sustain such toxic attachment to whatever aspect of a self I'm holding onto at that time, from not opening my heart and instead continuing to narrow my ability for compassion... all these apply to every aspect of relationships. Suffering is indeed wanting things to be different. Or, I should say, wanting things to be different and suffering because of my attachment to that desire -- in myriad ways. Those lines add up to the culmination of my Rohatsu week. Straightforward and profound.